'Tis the Season

The next two weekends kick-off two seasons that most people love.  Actually, one of them everybody loves.  The other - well, guys certainly look forward to the first weekend after Memorial Day, especially here in DC.    Still confused?  Beach season commences tomorrow and next weekend marks the beginning of what my one friend affectionately refers to as "the season", also known as intern season.   We'll get more into intern season at a later date.  With this weekend being the official beginning of beach season it is all about fun in the sun. The swim suits come out and people can finally reap the benefits of all those diet pills and two-a-days in the gym.  Yes, the time has come for orange crushes, boardwalk fries, and if you are headed to the Delmarva Pennisula, the BEST BAR EVER MADE......Seacrets.  

Okay maybe I'm being a little dramatic.   Wait no, f*ck that.  Seacrets is the best bar on the east coast, bar none.  I know I have gone on record by saying the same thing about Armadillos in Annapolis or Brass Monkey in Adams Morgan, but no lie - Seacrets is simply incredible.  It is like fun land for adults.  Their drinks are sick, I mean sick.  Nothing quenches your thirst more than a dirty banana with a little extra kick on a hot summer day.  The ambiance is amazing. With palm trees flown in for every new beach season plus an assortment of floats and tables in the water the stage is set for great atmosphere on a Saturday afternoon in July.  And then there is the people.  I mean the people watching is off the charts.  There are only a few places on earth that have better people watching than Seacrets.  Off the top of head, the only three I can think of are Las Vegas, New Orleans, and the Twin Cities.  Most of Seacrets clientele is Maryland's finest and when I say Maryland's finest, I mean Maryland's finest.  There is more ink than the entire Denver Nuggets  basketball (those guys are really tatted-up).  I'm convinced there is a contest for best tramp stamp because every time I go back the females seem to get more and more creative with the art on their lower back.  As for the guys,  I'm pretty sure there is more steroid use than in Major League Baseball.  If you are lucky, in the perfect storm of circumstances, guy and girl meet and ridiculousness ensues for every one to watch.  Case in point, during my most recent trip to Seacrets last August two classy patrons started to get freaky on the beach for everyone's viewing pleasure. Yes, this took place in the middle of the afternoon and it was a little more than making out in a chair.  It was absolutely ridiculous.  You didn't want to watch, yet you couldn't stop starring.  They were finally asked to leave, but not before they put on a little show for the entire bar.  Admit it, you want to go to Seacrets now too....oh yeah, I don't really recommend going there at night.  You get searched and have to go through metal detectors.  Trust me, Seacrets is an afternoon excursion.

So this weekend, I'm headed to the beach for what promises to be a great time.  There will be g (that's golf), various athletic competitions in which I dominate everybody, and of course Seacrets.  Who knows maybe I will meet my next great love there.  It worked for "Wes" and "Jess" on that magical afternoon in September.  Sh*t, their names even rhyme.  Hmm, what rhymes with Sean????

P.S.  Next week's Morning Coffee will not be served until Tuesday or Wednesday.