The Story of....The Weekend That Was

Hey people, sorry for the delay. My computer crashed on Monday afternoon and is now in the shop. The blog is not allowed at work, so this is my first opportunity to finish the story. I know my posts tend to get rather long, so just a warning this post is even longer than most. Trust me it was worth the wait, I think you’ll enjoy this one…..

The events of this past weekend played out like a movie. If The Hangover was the smash hit of two weekends ago, then The Weekend That Was was this past weekend’s box office success. No script necessary, just keep the cameras rolling. A group of guys came to town expecting an entertaining weekend and they left town with all they could bargain for and more. This tale takes place in the sleepy college town of Charlottesville, Virginia where the wedding and its guests was stuff of legends. What made this wedding unique is that it was a Sunday afternoon wedding with plenty of other events leading up to the big one. Like all good movies there are a cast of characters that bring the movie together. Let’s meet the people that made this story possible….

The Bride and Groom

First off, congratulations “Andrew” and Lindsay” on Sunday’s nuptials Without your love and devotion to each other and wanting to celebrate that love during this second weekend in June, this weekend would have never happened. So Thank You. I’m sure this weekend was an absolute whirlwind for the two of you and you probably missed most of the antics, but don’t worry your wedding is now legendary.

My Bros

"Randall" and Manifesto Mike were vital to the weekend’s success. They are the important co-stars that take movies to the next level. The friendship, the camaraderie, it was on full display this weekend. The three of us were so happy we must have done three dozen bro hugs over the course of 36 hours. That’s like one bro hug per hour – very impressive. You can always tell guys are happy by how many times they hug each other. Happy times this weekend. We knew we were experiencing something great and just enjoying the ride.

My Nemesis

All great stories need a rivalry. Maverick needed Ice Man in Top Gun. Ricky Bobby needed Jean Girard in Talladega Nights. I needed my former co-worker, “R-Mac”. On a professional level, I have a great deal of respect and admiration for R-Mac. I value his opinion and I enjoy talking “shop” with him. Outside of the office, it’s a different story. Most rivalries are based on some sort of skill or talent where two titans push each other to the limit. Yeah, that’s not really the case here. Our rivalry is based on one thing and one thing only. We both have massively inflated egos. Both our egos are always trying to write checks our bodies can cash. When the two of us are in the same place, there is just not enough money in the bank to cash two checks. This rivalry is so dumb, yet completely entertaining at the same time. The reality is we are two immature clueless morons in our mid-20’s who have way too much self-confidence and think we are king. At work this is not an issue. Certain social settings are not a problem either. A wedding, on the other hand, is an explosive situation where people like me and R-Mac are vying for total supremacy as life of the party. We both wanted to “win” the wedding if for no other reason than to beat the other.

It took all but five minutes in the parking lot at the golf course before teeing-off on Saturday afternoon for THE Sean Sullivan and R-Mac fireworks to begin. He called me Euro trash with my trendy golf shirt and white belt. He was just jealous he couldn’t pull off the white golf belt with an argyle belt buckle like I could. No lie – I look good in the white belt and he looks like a neanderthal in his golf shirts that are two sizes too small. The afternoon culminated with some serious trash talking during the 45 minute rain delay where we both felt the need to prove we were better than the other at golf through a variety of contests. After the rain, we settled it with a one hole playoff where I found my inner Phil Mickelson a la the 18th hole at the 2006 US Open (this is a bad thing) and totally sucked. R-Mac got the best of me on the golf course, but as you read on I think you will agree I completely owned him for the rest of weekend.

Stacy

Stacy is currently living in Charlottesville and is a rising 4th year (apparently that means senior at other colleges) at the University of Virginia. She has absolutely no affiliation with the wedding. I met Stacy while knocking over a sign at Buddhist Biker Bar on Saturday night. The incident took place very late in the evening when everyone else managed to leave me behind and I had already participated in beers on the golf course, the greatest two man pregame of all time, and looking at my credit card bill here one massive tab at Buddhist. Stacy said it was my fault, but I blame the sign. She was nice enough to help me put it back. This chance encounter flipped the script and took the weekend to a whole new level. Stacy became THE Sean Sullivan, Manifesto Mike, and Randall’s own personal tour guide back through college. On Sunday, there was a bloody mary brunch, mimosa beer pong back at her very college pad, and slamming bud light limes at the pool. At some point during our Sunday Fun Day it was decided it was a good idea for her to come the wedding, so Stacy became Randall, THE Sean Sullivan, and Manifesto Mike’s date to the wedding. Did I mention none of us had plus ones either? Yes, I know – class, class, class. I’m also pretty sure her name is not Stacy even though that is what we called her all weekend.

The Girl

The Girl in this story actually enters the mix before the weekend. Here’s the background. I met the Girl about six weeks ago when I was out with friends after work, including the bride and groom. The Girl was friends with the bride and was tapped to be a bridesmaid for the wedding. I remember immediately taking a liking to her. She was cool, laid back, and just seemed really fun. Although I knew she would be in the area only a short while longer with her upcoming travels abroad at the end of June followed by relocating to the Windy City for graduate school, I thought it would be fun to take her out. So I got her number and a couple weeks later we met up for drinks after work. Now there are good dates, there are bad dates, and there are great dates. This was definitely a GREAT date. A date that started out as drinks and appetizers after work turned into an evening full of events. It was one of those things where it was so much fun that we decided to throw caution to the wind and go with it. Really it was just an awesome time as we jumped from place to place, ending the evening at the new speakeasy bar on 14th Street. This portion of the evening turned out to be particularly entertaining when the two of us were caught red handed playing “what’s their story” as we guessed who was with who and who liked who with another table of patrons. Let’s just say that table of patrons was not pleased and we left shortly after. Getting caught like that was probably not a good thing, but all in all it was a great laugh and funny conclusion to our date. Since then, our busy and conflicting schedules have made it difficult to go out again; however, I was definitely looking forward to seeing her over the course of the weekend.

Oh god, listen to me. THE Sean Sullivan playing to the heart strings? This is not what I do. I do comedy and wit, so enough about the Girl. If you want to read something that will warm the cockles of your heart, then go read Jane Austen. Let’s get back to the story…..

The Wedding

When the clock struck 4pm on Sunday afternoon as the church bells were ringing I had a moment of clarity about the weekend. During this legendary weekend, did things get out of hand? After all, we had literally just made the wedding on time. The bride was half- way down the aisle as we sat down. We managed to sit on the wrong side of the aisle and now had an uninvited guest with us. At this point, we were definitely “those people.” On one hand, this was ridiculously hilarious. On the other hand, I had only managed a small amount of face time on Saturday night with the Girl. Granted she was in the wedding and I was busy trying to win the wedding, but I had the feeling word was out or about to get out about the sign, our new guest, and my Sunday afternoon of college fun. On top of all this, I was still in a pissing contest with R-Mac and had to win the wedding to ensure I won the weekend. The evening ahead was certainly going to be interesting.

After a short and tasteful ceremony, the guests were bused out to a vineyard for the reception. The reception was beautiful. Cocktails during the last few hours of sunlight as you look out onto a vineyard with mountains as the backdrop is a great way to kick-off a reception. R-Mac was of course killing me. He decided to persistently tell people that I was loser and the awkward comments about the new guest, Stacy, also didn’t help. Not to be outdone, he had to live down the fact that he was that dude from the bar on Saturday night in a tight v-neck tee looking like a b*tch. The soy sauce stains running down his tie also made him look like a real class act as well.

As the reception wore on, things definitely got better. I owned the dance floor. R-Mac probably thought he was a better dancer than me, but he’s not. There was plenty of dancing with the Girl. She looked fantastic. I mean she looked great all weekend really. All in all, it was an awesome time and things were starting to look-up. With the help of Randall and Manifesto Mike we had pulled off the crash, I was absolutely destroying R-Mac, and I was digging the hang out time with the Girl. This is the movie’s happy ending right? Guess again. As the reception ended and the after-party back in town ensued, it definitely became clear my antics were more notorious than famous. The sign incident and everything that followed was already the story of the wedding unbeknownst to me. Yeah, this was not good. This was the point of the movie where the protagonist admits, “Yeah, we f*cked-up.”

So between having to answer for the sign and last minute guests, the night didn’t quit play out as intended. As I drove back Monday morning, I had plenty of time to play back The Weekend That Was in my head. For everything that made it epic, also probably wasn’t the best move either. Don’t get me wrong it is an unbelievable story and an unbelievable weekend I will always remember. I have to admit though after seeing and spending time with the Girl again this weekend, she definitely got to me way more than I realized. Winning definitely had a price, but at least I crushed R-Mac. If this was the National Hockey League Finals, then I would be drinking out of Lord Stanley’s Cup and R-Mac would be crying like the b*tch that he is. Book it!