Road Show Part I

So I have just returned from my 10 day vacation. The trip definitely turned into THE Sean Sullivan Road Show. I realize this is not surprising. The trip started out down in Atlanta to visit my college roommate, Tom, for Columbus Day Weekend. Let’s just say, I LIT IT UP. I’m talking scorched earth. I’m not sure Atlanta has seen that kind of fire since General Sherman rolled through town with the Union Army. Here's a recap....

Thursday

I arrived in Atlanta Thursday night. Of course, Tom convinced me to come down for a big Thursday night and decided it would be cool to go to Omaha instead. Lucky for me, his twin, Mike, came up big and was able to pick me up from the airport and made even a better call by suggesting we go right to the bar. Of course, I was down and we headed to a birthday party hosted by some awesome ladies. Wow. Hot chicks everywhere. Atlanta is looking pretty awesome. The party hostesses were hot. The birthday girls were hot. The female party guests were hot. The only thing that could have made this night better was if my friend, "Meghan", got on stage at the bar and rocked out. She is an incredible singer. I mean seriously "get better", which apparently was coined by "Meghan" and not my bff, "Jess." I've inquired with the US Patent Office for clarification.

Friday

The daylight hours on Friday were rather uneventful, except for the discovery of a cinematic masterpiece, Sex Drive. The movie is a coming of age tale about an eighteen year old who hits the road in search of his sexual destiny. In layman’s terms, boy meets girl on Internet and decides to drive 9 hours to lose his virginity. Hilarity ensues. Seth Green plays an Amish dude. What else do you need?? I highly recommend everybody puts Sex Drive on their Netflix cue.


Friday night was the Kings of Leon concert. Tom realizes Omaha sucks and is now back in Atlanta. A concert is not my ideal Friday night, but who cares because like the Kings of Leon song my sex was on fire……

Post concert, I convince a classy lady, “October”, to do body shots off of me. No neck either. I'm talking shirt unbuttoned stomach style. Now, I really starting to like Atlanta.

As the night progresses, we are hopping from bar to bar. At the final bar of the night, I met a group of girls. What happens next is one of the more unusual things that has happened to me out at the bar. While I was hitting it off with one of these girls, her friend is straight up rubbing my chest and stomach UNDERNEATH MY SHIRT. Yes, she is caressing my tequila stained stomach. Obviously, she did not know this, but I was clearly into her friend and she just kept going anyway. Good thing I did abs that day.

Saturday –

Most of the day and early night hours was the religion known as SEC football. Roll Tide! I mean Go Dawgs. No wait, War Eagle! Or was it Geaux Tigers? They all sound good to me, so who knows. There were plenty of beers, way too many married couples, but all in all it was a great time. Things really got going after dinner. At this point, I'm THE Sean Sullivan delirious where I find everything amusing. For those who know THE Sean Sullivan, they know this side of me very well (and alcohol is not needed either). I literally find everything hilarious, especially myself, and cannot stop laughing. In my delirium, I had a moment of self-reflection and the quote of the weekend, "What the f*ck?!?! I'm regressing, four years ago I was going places...." Okay, was I ever really going places?? Hahahaha!! After a house party, I met a real ice queen at the bar. I'm she was really uptight. I thought I was done. Okay, it's true beware the quite ones.

Sunday –

At this point, I'm not feeling well. Three big nights in a row and I am S-T-ruggling. I tried to power through with a couple of bloody marys at the bar during the 1:00pm NFL games. Well, the bloodys did not help and watching the pathetic Redskins only made it worse. With the next round of games also came a new waitress. Our new waitress, "Danielle", is exactly what I needed. I liked her and oh did she like me. It didn't really take long for my charm and wit to kick-in. Plus, let's be honest nothing really gets things going like SHOTS!!! After a couple of rounds of whatever the bar had to offer, she fell for me, I fell for her, and this would have been a great way to end the night. Except, she still had to work and Tom and others were looking to move onto to some free concert at some bar in a park.

From here, things went to a whole new level. My girl, "October", body shot extraordinaire, was at the bar and I was absolutely determined to do more body shots. Let me be clear this is not your run of the mill dive bar where body shots might be something of a norm. This is a park side setting where couples bring their dogs and families bring their children to enjoy a nice evening of live music entertainment. Then there is me. I'm on the patio shirtless trying convince "October" that more body shots is a great idea. Yeah, this did not work and after the concert the evening only got worse. Every bar after the concert is me being absolutely ridiculous. At this point, I'm yelling "I'M THE SEAN SULLIVAN AND I CAN DO WHATEVER I WANT." Yeah, it was not good. I think making small talk with "Danielle" over shots would have worked out way better.

No lie I did not feel well on Monday. It was a rough flight home, but all in all it was a fantastic weekend. My boy, Tom, and his twin, Mike, put on a good show.

Okay wait....

Yes. It was an amazing trip, but there was one MAJOR disappointment, Tom and Mike’s young brother, Steven. I had high hopes for Steven. To be honest, Tom is average at best. I was just using him to hang with his young brother, Steven, who I thought was awesome. Steven and I became boys during my last trip down to the ATL in 2007. Steven had the potential to be #5 in “My Top 5 I Would Change Teams for List” in 2009. What happened?? He blew it. He blew it quick too like a 15 year old boy dry humping his girlfriend a little too aggressively. Steven was MIA from the word go. Apparently, he enjoys spending more time with his lady as opposed to being awesome. In her defense, she seems like a cool chick, but in the words of the Monday Night Countdown segment on ESPN, “c’mon man!” You’re better than that.

Steven, maybe next time I come down to visit I will bring Manifesto Mike because its looks the two of you have a lot in common. Yes, that’s right. Manifesto Mike is done. I am gone for 10 days and Manifesto Mike has officially locked it down. He blew right past the D.T.R and is now firmly living in relationship town. I guess that makes two MAJOR disappointments.

Stay tuned for Part Deux. THE Sean Sullivan Road Show heads west....